BizTipsbyELLE!

Today is Saturday! Which means that #BizTipsbyELLE will be posted throughout the day at the PRbyELLE77 FB Site! Make sure that you “like” the page!

Also, PRbyELLE77 will turn one on March 1st! We will host an anniversary photo challenge via Instagram, and we are also celebrating a phenomenal man in the month of March! Information regarding the competition will ONLY be posted via the PRbyELLE77 FB Site!

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I certainly appreciate your endless support of the blogs and my business!!

Sincerely,

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ELLE

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What You Want vs What You Accept

Currently digesting information from these pages:

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Author Steve Harvey is not necessarily “liked” by many, as it relates to his advice on relationships…I actually like him, and I agree w quite a bit of what he discusses in this book and in “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man”.

One thing I am noticing in today’s relationship society is that people are looking for that “quick fix”, or the situation that yields mostly, or only, tangibles. Hmmmm…if I’m honest with MYSELF (speaking for Lauran Adell ONLY) I know that I want more than just a handbag or a trip to an exotic island. On page 56 of the book “Straight Talk, No Chaser”, Steve makes a VERY strong statement. He says “…accepting gifts from a guy without getting what you want in return is nothing more than an advanced form of prostitution”. What makes this statement so TRUE is that I know women who willingly accept gifts from men, yet secretly desire a real relationship (if your BOYFRIEND/FIANCE/HUSBAND buys gifts for you, that’s different–I’m not referring to those women). When a woman accepts those gifts, handbags and trips, without getting what she truly wants, she is in fact a “bought woman”; you JUST told a man that you have a “set price”, not that you are “priceless”. This ALSO speaks to the fact that a Father or Father figure is JUST AS important in a girl-child’s life as one is in a boy-child’s life. (DISCLAIMER: this is not to say that a woman is ONLY strong if she has a Father/Father-figure; this is merely stating the IMPORTANCE of said role in a girl-child’s life…keep reading!)

My Father, bless his HUGE heart, is the BEST MAN IN THE WORLD to me; a modern-day Superman!

Here I am w my Daddy at a luncheon at our church, where he Pastors, where the men were honored:

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He has made it so that I don’t ever have to want or need for anything!

Because he was (and still is) very active in my life, I understand that I deserve the very best that a man has to offer. My Father has ALWAYS given me his best, even when I didn’t want to hear what he had to say on certain topics; but that didn’t stop him from being the best Daddy to me…I salute him and how he has been very crucial in how I handle men. BECAUSE OF HIS INFLUENCE, I can smell the proverbial bullsh*t miles away.

Steve Harvey hits on SEVERAL points about how to deal w men and how to get what you would like out of men (i.e. commitments , honesty, etc, not referring to tangible items–please…), but one thing that he will state, and states OFTEN is the fact that if you aren’t getting what you desire out of your relationship/if you feel that it is going nowhere/if he won’t commit, LET HIM GO. I love how he refuses to sugar coat a situation w his female audience…and for some, it’s just what we need to hear/read. What you want HONESTLY is that commitment; so why settle by merely accepting gifts that only pacify you for the moment? It’s easier to manuever through these situations w men when you KNOW YOUR OWN PERSONAL VALUE. It’s only a problem when you have no clue as to who you actually are and what YOU actually want.

I know what I want and I won’t settle for less than I deserve; I have my Father to thank for that! My Mother (may her soul rest in heavenly peace) was married to a KING (my Daddy); she encouraged him, supported his vision(s), and stood by him. Also, my Dad knew he was blessed with a Queen–and he treated her as such! A woman who encourages her significant other and supports him will ultimately make a man “want” to change his ways FOR HER! You can’t “change a man”, but you can be so phenomenal that he commits to making changes on his own…KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!

MOM AND DAD

There is no textbook method in getting to know someone, however you have to truly evaluate and sometimes RE-evaluate your situation on a regular basis.

Are you getting what you want?
Or are you getting what you accept? I’m hoping you know the difference…trust me; the men ALREADY KNOW THE GAME; we have to “navigate the plays”, ladies!

(FYI: if your man is honest w you, he will acknowledge his growth (or lack thereof) with you, and will let you know JUST how valuable you are to his life…I never said that love is easy, but I do know that love should not hurt you, and is ABSOLUTELY worth it!)

To Sir: Wherever you are as you read my blog, I Love You; I appreciate you allowing me to love you the way that I am designed to love a man, I am grateful for your support of everything that I do, I will always encourage you to be the best that you can be, I have your back, and life has been amazing since you’ve entered into it. Thank You for being there for me; no matter what we have gone thru, I wouldn’t change a thing…I know, just like I knew back in 2011, that I am in good hands. *muah* 

ELLE

When Is It Too Much? (11)

Per my blog #3 lol, I am very much in tune w who I am and what works for me.  I am a “go against the grain” type of person anyways…so I’ve never been the type to copy/bite someone else’s style or ideas.  Yes I share similar views w my friends and family, but I am VERY different in the way I think and approach things. I’m a Twitter fanatic; I tweet ALL day long and into the evening (part of it is business related; there is a method to my madness), and some of the things that I see on my timeline frequently prompted this blog note actually…I’m just wondering…when is “it” (whatever “it” may be) too much?  I’ll tell you what I think.

Let’s go.

Welp…for starters let me throw out my disclaimer: If you are extra “churchy” or “super saved”, you may wanna bypass this next paragraph; how bout bypass this blog note itself.  I’m not against religion/spirituality/etc., because God IS my All and All, however I’m bout to hit on the subject soooooo…you’ve been warned.  You may proceed…oh and I do indeed make me up some words :O)!

At the end of the day, you can tweet or Instagram or FB about aaaaaaaaaaaaanything you want…that’s your social media page…but to be inundated w scripture, bashing others for sins (when you’ve neglected to pull that big dumb tree out of your own eye), saying what you will and won’t do, had it been you in someone else’s shoes?  Too much.  Are you aware that there is no sin on earth that weighs HEAVIER or LESS THAN another sin?  Me even #THINKING that someone is ugly, and then hearing about Joe Blow murdering Jack Black on the news is weighed the EXACT same.  To add, the eeeeeeeeeeeextra extra churchy ones are also (on MY timeline anyway) the ones seeking to be in a relationship most times…and BAD.  I’m not saying hide God or your belief in Him from anyone; but have you ever thought about how your super-saint-ism attitude might appear (to a potential mate) to be somewhat judgmental? NO ONE will come to you perfect; people have different levels of relationship w God (some may not have one AT ALL, then what), and you may be scaring someone off w the way YOU COME off…believe it or not, you being super churchy doesn’t make you perfect.  Please though…by all means, do you (blog #3); however just consider how you may sound.  Just be honest w yourself.  Yeeeeeeeaaah…it’s too much.

I love God on some for real face-in-the-floor-type-of-worshipping Him…in that, I get angry at Him sometimes–I’m honest w myself and Him.  I have expressed to Him how I am so hurt and angry about the death of my Mom; I have days when I am a “sailor” (feel me); I get discouraged about things sometimes; I cry out of frustration; I hurt when people that I love have said or done something to offend me; so there is absolutely no way that I will deny my true feelings.  God is good, most CERTAINLY.  That will never change; I’m not trying to convince a person to believe anything different.  I just know that I get beyond frustrated talking to a person who just cannot have a “conversation”.  I don’t want to be hit w a scripture every single time I turn around; I just want to talk.  For example, my Father is a Pastor.  Extra churchy people (or otherwise people living in a world of stereotypes) might think that any conversation that I have w him would have some type of “bible study” attached.  Nope.  My Daddy is a “Dad”; he understands me as his #only Daughter (I’m a brat, sue me), and he knows my hurts.  He accepts me completely–may not always be happy w the things that I do lol–but he wants nothing but the best for me.  I can have a conversation w him and God doesn’t even come up.  When we are talking about my hair (he asked about it this morning in our Starbucks) God didn’t come up in that conversation.  When talking about the NATO summit, or what he wants to do for Father’s Day, not one mention of God.  It doesn’t mean that he loves the Lord any less, but he ALSO knows that I, along w anyone else that he is having a conversation with, won’t have to be hit w scripture every second of every conversation.  And HE’S a Pastor; he gets it.  He is the perfect example of “just right” w that thing lbvs.

The naked avi pics…too much (yes this goes for guys too).  Think more of yourselves than to think you are actually attracting the “guy or girl of your dreams” w that naked mess going on; even if you aren’t trying to attract the “one”, it’s still too much.  Then you wanna get mad when you get the type of attention you get?  What’d you just post to twitter though…too much.  The discussion on whether same gender loving parties should be “allowed” to have the same freedoms that heterosexuals have…too much.  I was having a conversation w one of my PHrat brothers JUST YESTERDAY about this same topic; when you meet your Maker, you will have your own sins to answer for; why are you concerned about what someone else is doing?  I meeeeean and folks are MAD about it; chill out; it’s too much.  The ballers who still live at home, though…too much.  LOL of COURSE you can shop til you drop if you have no other responsibilities.  Ballers truly “ball out” when they have their own…stop it; too much.  I don’t know lol my timeline rocks though; but some people just do THEEEEE MOSTNESS (told yall I make up words), and every single person w a twitter/FB/Instagram/etc account has someone like that.  Whether you say it or not, you’re thinking “now you are doing too much”. Ha!

We have so many other things to worry about…there is too much unemployment, too much hunger, too much poverty, too much murder, too much rivalry for no reason…too much.  It’s never “too much” to help someone get a job, to feed a person, to educate a person/help someone get a trade so that they can have a better life, NEVER too much of that.  I would rather someone say stuff like “she supports small businesses in her community too much”, or “he talks about ending violence too much”…that even sounds stupid to say, but don’t ever be surprised at how some people think.  Again, tweet til your fingers fall off; because I most certainly will continue to get my tweet ON; I’m a writer; I will always have a lot to say.  I guess I just want you to really think about what #you allow others to perceive about you when you dish out certain things, alongside of the whole “perception is reality” piece.  I actually give a flip about people “making it” out here and getting their heart’s desires; don’t kill your character before you have the chance.

*smoochface*

Elle