Your Past: And You're Holding On Foooooor…(25)

(And I’m serious when I say this)…I am going to SERIOUSLY send up prayers for KeKe Wyatt.

Disclaimer: I am not blogging to belittle her, bash her or to talk badly about her…but she needs prayer and peace.

KeKe Wyatt, for those unfamiliar, is one of five “Divas” on the new series R&B Divas, that is aired on Monday evenings on the tvOne network. I am personally a fan of KeKe’s voice; she can straight just SANG. HOWEVER…she is harboring ill feelings that she has not yet resolved from a previous marriage. On one episode, KeKe is in the “booth”, getting ready to sing. Her husband is in the room w the music engineers, and a young lady comes in and gives him a note. Not sure what the note was about, but in a “secure” eye, the way in which the note was passed to him was not offensive. KeKe noticed this interaction, and immediately snapped at the young lady AND her husband (1st mistake). She went on to call the gesture inappropriate, she ended up crying, and EVERYONE IN THE STUDIO was brought into the situation (2nd mistake). She chose to express her anger out in public, and her manager (I believe) had to pull her into another room to have a sidebar conversation to calm her down, etc.

ADDRESSING THE FIRST MISTAKE: There truly was no reason for her to have snapped on either party. Period. I could see if the young lady came in the room and tongued her husband down…she only brought in a note, which could have been a phone message, a confirmation on a gift that he was getting for KeKe, or something pertaining to their 5.5 kids (KeKe was pregnant at the time of this incident; she has since birthed her 6th child named Wyatt). We haven’t a clear clue as to what was going on, nor do we know what that note was about, so why snap? If you’d like to know what the note was about, ask him!

ADDRESSING THE SECOND MISTAKE: Relationships are complicated on their own, minus outside influences…why was everyone in the studio invited into the resolution of, or discussion surrounding, what had just happened? At THIS point, time is MONEY…studio sessions are not cheap, so now the session time is spent trying to calm her down and to counsel her briefly. Wrong place, wrong time…

ALTHOUGH KEKE’S SITUATION MAY BE EXTREME, KEKE IS NOT UNLIKE MANY OF YOU READING THIS BLOG…either that, or you are familiar w someone who may struggle w insecurities from their past…

I completely and wholeheartedly believe in love. 100%; not wavering from this; I’m all for being in love. But IN THAT, there’s no room for your baggage. True, we will all carry something w us, but if you are still harboring #painful feelings from a previous heartache, you may need to spend some time alone and regroup; and no…hopping into a NEW relationship/dating situation will not help you to “get over” your pain, so please Sir/please Ma’am spare someone else from your uncertainty; have a few seats! Speaking w your Pastor, a Counselor, or just taking time to rediscover those things that you lost are all helpful when recovering from a past hurt. I remember being hurt very badly in a past relationship, and I waited seven years before I got into another one. I vivdly recall losing 10 lbs due to not eating, I was pretty much existing (not living), and I remember how ANGRY my Father was at the guy who had caused me to be in such pain. After about six months of going thru the emotions I had surrounding that hurtful relationship, I was ready to “have conversations” w men. After a full year and some change had passed, I began dating…but my point in even mentioning that is…I took time to make sure that I was not about to inadvertently place the responsibility of fixing my broken heart on someone else (also, my time frame of healing is not necessarily going to work for the next person…that’s something that you have to figure out on your own). What people ALSO don’t realize is…when you make someone “pay for” what a past beaux did, you start a cycle of pain and potentially reckless behavior. What do hurting people do? They hurt other people. So see NOOOOOOW you’ve hurt the new guy/girl, and they may go on a spree of sexcapades, playing the field, and breaking hearts along the way. ONE ACTION can cause a CHAIN of reactions…is it worth it to mess up someone else’s life SIMPLY because yours isn’t together? Get Your Life, Sir/Ma’am…

I know I know…people don’t like to be alone. So? I don’t like bills LOL. But seriously…until a more mature and nurturing relationship comes along? You may NEED to be alone! There’s no way you can “get away” from yourself, so spend some time getting to know what you will and will not tolerate. You have to rebuild after someone has attempted to tear you down. That stuff can HURT; don’t reopen the wound; let it heal. Be good to yourself FIRST before you expect for someone else to be good to you. Men and women can equally “smell” an insecure individual…and…some take advantage OF someone vulnerable/insecure. Become “whole” again so that no more wool will be pulled over your eyes. Once that rain called pain has gone away, the healing comes in looking for the rainbow.

eLLe

Advertisements

Keep Moving!! (21)

Don’t you absolutely HATE when someone takes something that you’ve expressed in the WORST context possible? And often times, it’s because they may be stressed out or tired?

Not your problem right? Right!

Someone took me making a correction to them, regarding something very personal to me, COMPLETELY in the wrong spirit, and as a result, I received a very snippy message. Now…20+ yr old Elle may have snipped back lol, but I didn’t. The thing that they were incorrect on is STILL important to me, and…in spite of their feelings, the correction had to be made clear. Period. No apologies, no take backs. I responded to the party accordingly, and separately from the group. This individual is a total asset to a specific project, and I don’t take their work/dedication/affiliation lightly. HOW-IN-SO-EVER…lol the thing personal to me still matters. So at the end of the day, I still appreciate that person, but they need to make note of the correction.

Thinking before “snipping” could save a relationship (professional or personal) from being “clipped”. Also, making sure to always “be you” and to be true to what matters in your life teaches another person respect FOR your life, whether they “like” you or not. As for the incident I experienced, we’ll just hope the other party is getting enough rest at night! Stress mixed w being tired is no good for the body and the mind!!

Think before you “snip”!

Choose Responses Wisely! (17)

You have to truly recognize when someone has decided that YOU are their target. And it doesn’t have to be a specific reason i.e. you forgot to call them at 8pm but called them at 8:02pm (petty right?), you missed their birthday celebration, etc., or you’ve decided to focus more on your own life…I meeeeeeeean the above reasons ARE reasons that people will put you in their line of fire…and w subtweets/sub-FB statuses/subpar communication…but it’s strictly up to you how you will respond…or whether you will even respond.

People have made a career out of being sh*t starters; that’s just what they do. They are often times annoying, attention-seekers, insecure, or some are purely just in it for a healthy debate (not all sh*t starters are whack lol). But now…you KNOW FULL WELL the difference. Just be advised that when you are doing great, stuff will always be thrown at you. If you are in a state of misery, or things aren’t on the up and up right now, some people secretly LOVE a person to struggle. Let me help you out (and this has worked for me):

1. Let them do what and how they do– you can’t change a person, but you do have options! Everything is about “choices”. If you don’t wish to communicate with them, well then don’t! If it’s on a professional level, and you’re dealing w a jerk, just remain professional in all exchanges; once they are aware that you just aren’t falling into their trap, they will move on to another.

2. Do not respond to their ignorance– this is self-explanatory; you don’t even have to acknowledge them. HIGH key, that pisses them off. That’s not necessarily your aim (or maybe it is lol), but remember…from a distance, a person can’t tell who the fool is if two people are arguing. Don’t give in to their whack agendas; it’s NEVER worth it. People able to pull you all the way out of your body like that have OFFICIALLY placed you in their pockets. Just ignore them.

3. Think about the source– if you know this person regularly has something to say, keep that in mind also before you make the decision to react.

4. Laugh– it burns calories anyway

People are on assignment to cause discord, and unfortunately, some of these assignments are self-imposed. There are a few who actually get paid to be jerks lol (I won’t name names, but you KNOW who they are, think about media outlets). But to the ones who are out here blindly on a mission to disrupt peace? Don’t be their next client.

*smoochface*

Elle

Next Newer Entries