You Wanna Run That By Me Again? (31)

I had a different post that was to go up for the Hump Day Blog, but I HAD to touch on this. And it all stemmed from a photograph on Instagram that I am in TOTAL agreement with.

An absolute truth...

An absolute truth…

For those who may not be familiar w what I actually look like, I am a “dark-skinned” African-American Woman. Yet, in order to be considered “pretty” or “beautiful”, the skin tone that carries the most beauty, stereotypically, is one w a lighter hue. The phrase “you are pretty for a dark skin girl” has been said to me on several occasions, and each time, it was not taken as a compliment…because it’s NOT a compliment. Saying someone is pretty FOR any reason other than just being “pretty” is insulting, rude, offensive, disrespectful and extremely ignorant. It’s the same as saying something like ‘you are very attractive for a business owner’–does that make any sense? Neither does the message in that photo…

When I was a little girl, living in the South, I was often teased FOR my dark skin. I was called all kinds of names, and words do indeed hurt (you can lie to yourself if you want to). I would come home crying to my parents about how I was made fun of, and all because I was usually the child w the darkest skin in my classes. Thankfully, I was blessed w parents and extended family who always encouraged me, loved me, and accepted me w everything that I had. I have always been beautiful to them because I was a part of them. But w them loving and validating me (as parents and family SHOULD do), it’s NOTHING like realizing your worth on your very own. The very first time I heard someone say to me ‘you know, you are pretty for a dark skin girl’, I was angered. I vividly remember saying, in one of those instances, ‘you wanna run that by me again?’–they looked at me as if to say ‘did I say something wrong?’, and I proceeded to explain that I’m not pretty FOR a dark skin girl, but that I am a “pretty girl”. They reluctantly received what I was saying…good…just as long as they “got it”… (sidebar: me being a “pretty girl” has nothing to do w my Sorority lol).

I am a beautiful, dark-skinned woman…not beautiful FOR a dark-skinned woman; there is a difference in the two statements; a very BIG difference. I take great care of my skin (I’m actually pretty anal about it lbs), and it’s blemish free and soft to the touch (thanks to Drop’s skin care secrets). I keep myself together because that’s something that I love to do for me; others just take notice. I have a desire to encourage as many people as I can, and I try to look for ways to constantly improve “me”. Outside of that, I believe that I am beautiful; so that in and of itself MAKES me beautiful.

It’s always a good thing to watch what you say and how you say something. Don’t worry though; if you say this to me, I’ll get you straight!

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(Have you liked this page? Go now!)
Elle

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The Happy Side (26)

It’s so very unfortunate that people will find any excuse NOT to be happy. I find it hard to believe that, for some, there is NOTHING good found in a day…at any point. I happened to be tweeting about how some would rather focus on jerks who cause them drama; my good friend Cynara replied back “it gives them something to do”. I couldn’t agree w her more…

But something to do? Being miserable, negative, and otherwise petty is some people’s “something to do”? Do you know how much time you have to dedicate to being “messy”? You first really have to #have frequent drama, which (to me) means that in most cases, you’re actually doing something to cause it if you ALWAYS have it. Secondly, you truly have to SEEK to focus on the negative aspects of a situation or of a day, which means you “major in minors”, as my Daddy says (love him!!!!). Thirdly, but not lastly (I’m just stopping at three) you haven’t learned the art of ignoring ignorance. Everything doesn’t require a response or reaction. I’m just saying…

Now…we all have rough times w life, people, jobs, etc.; I just don’t personally want to be subjected to you–the one who doesn’t yet have a handle on how to keep it moving–on a daily basis. Some ppl get muted; some get deleted; some just get all the way blocked.

I will be the FIRST to admit that I have my struggles, my tears fall, and my mood will shift. I just don’t want to be known as a “complainer”…so a lot of things are kept “in house”, if you will. Aaaaaaaaand, the vast majority of my personal life is simply none of anyone’s business.

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The face shown here, is highly indicative of my daily mood…even tempered. I’m more or less just glad to see another day!

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I smile!

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I’m shy!

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I’m silly lol

Buuuuuut I’m genuinely “happy”. I have chosen a happier side of life, even in the midst of a ridiculous moment! I keep pushing until my hardest moments are only a fraction of who I am. Eeeeeeeven in the loss of my Mother, I #chose to be thankful that her pain was gone. I simply choose joy.

Elle

Just One Moment (22)

ONE single moment can change your entire outlook on any given day…

July30th may not mean much to anyone–just a random Monday–however that was the day that I fought for my life. The Doctors came out of the operating room, into the waiting area, and told my Daddy “we’re losing her”; I’m NOT supposed to be here, but by God’s grace, I AM here. I will never look at July30th the same EVER again. That “moment” on the morning of July30th changed my life forever.

If a woman’s beau proposes to her on a Tuesday, whatever she experienced earlier that day will no longer matter; that four word question has changed her life, as well as his, and her Tuesdays from now until eternity will all be different.

You get into your car, headed to meet up w friends for a celebration, but you’re thrown off course because of a car accident, due to a driver running a red light. Your survival of/regrouping from that accident will change how you drive…even if you were not the cause of the loss.

We associate our life’s experiences w “moments”. The day you deliver your child will be associated w what you were doing the “moment” prior to labor lol. The day you got “that job” will be associated w what you were doing the “moment” you received the job notification! The smile that you may give a stranger in passing may be the very “moment” that they then made the decision to push through a difficult time, instead of jumping off of a cliff to their death. When “he” or “she” wholeheartedly expresses their love for you, (and you realize what it took for them to open up to you), will be associated w where the two of you were headed, what was on tv, whatever the “moment” may have been.

Moments matter, period. Life is simply a vast array of moments, waiting to be remembered. Creating beautiful moments won’t be just for you though, dearest readers. The smile you randomly give/gave may never reveal what that gesture may have done for someone else’s life, so just do it anyway–that’s creating a beautiful moment. It may be something that you’ve done out of habit; who says that habits can’t be good?

Tribute to My Queen…My Mama (10)

My Mother’s Day Celebrations are full of what you see below…looking at pictures, visiting her mausoleum, and just reflecting on the Mother that God gave to me.  And boy was she AWESOME…

You know how a person just knows you?  How something just “fits”?  You and your boo mesh well together; you and your best friend could talk for hours in your own made up language; you and your child (if you are a parent) have your own special time of play together.  Well…there is no other woman on this here earth–NOT ANYWHERE–that could have been my Mother. She knew me sooooooooooooo well…she could tell how I was feeling from an email I would send…even if I was trying to be chipper.  She knew what certain looks in my eyes meant, even if I tried to keep them covered.  She had a way w me that only she and I understood fully.

I have so many fond memories of my life and times w my Mom, and one of the things I will never forget was the way she put together my 30th Birthday Celebration.  It would appear that she created my “wedding reception”…almost like she knew she’d never see the day that I would become a Wife.  She made sure I had the perfect dress, paper invitations (no evites), plated dinner for my guests, two cakes, a wardrobe change, and last but certainly not least, my Daddy walking me into the room.  I had guests speak about me and what they learned from me, the evening was videotaped, my guests also did video messages to me, eeeeeeeverything resembled a wedding reception.  And it was in pure Barbara Fashion. We went back and forth about that party so much, and I almost didn’t want to have it. But I’m glad that I did; I realized what she was trying to do, and I didn’t fight her anymore…she knew that her time was short, and that she had to do SOMETHING to show me a glimpse of what my wedding day would be like (nope…Lauran will NOT be having the big, DUMB, stereotypical, First Daughter Wedding day…that’s for another blog LOL).

I am saddened by the fact that my future children will never get to smell her, hear her sing, hear her laugh, watch her play-fuss at me, just experience the essence of the First Queen that I’ve ever known.  But…because I am my Mother’s Child, I have a responsibility to them to be an example of a God-fearing, strong and nurturing Mother that my Mom actually groomed me to be, by being such an example.  She would be proud of the woman I have become.

As I close, due to the influx of tears that continue to fall as I type, I have to say:

God, I truly thank You for seeing fit for me to have such a wonderful example of a Mom. You knew, before I was formed, what I needed and WHO I needed to mold me into a Queen.  I thank you for not giving me a neglectful set of Parents.  I have been blessed beyond measure w the woman that only THIS woman can call Mom.  You are my everything, God, and because of your love, I still feel her around me.  She is always in my thoughts; not a day goes by that I don’t think about her, and not one day ends without me thinking about how blessed SHE is to be w You.  Thank You for my Mom.
Please send her my love and tell her that I miss her..

*smoochface*

Elle

A Lil Piece Of Me! (7)

Light and fluffy today!  

Decided to share pics of just a FEW of my favorites; some of you may have seen these on my various social network sites, however they are still favorites of mine…enjoy!

*smoochface*
ELLE

My Daddy (my favorite guy)
My Mother (may she continue to rest in peace)
Purses
My Siblings! :O)
A few of my accessories
Nuff Said…
STARBUCKS…
Footies
Fishnets!!
Gucci
Nail polishes
Headbands…love ’em
Gum balls from Origins
My Name