Open That Door

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged, and in all honesty, it’s been by design! I needed to take a mini break to get settled in my newest role…

FULL TIME ENTREPRENEUR.

Yes…as of April 1, 2013 (April Fool’s Day lol) I quit my job in “corporate America”. It came out of nowhere. Nope…I didn’t give two weeks notice; nope, I have not a single regret. I politely told my mgmt person this simple phrase: “I think I am going to have to make my last day here TODAY”. Imagine the look of shock on his face when I said that! I was confident in my decision, had already taken a peak at my financial situation, and decided that I had to act NOW. And I did!

I’ve been happy ever since.

Thing is, in order for me to truly get the weight off of my shoulder, I had to open the door of LEAVING that job. I was MISERABLE (I’m sure some of you have viewed past posts which made reference to my disdain for that place…), and I could not “find joy” in having to be there for seven hours and forty five minutes of my life, day in and day out, anymore. I thought about how much money I had been making there, and let out a sigh…the money was great, but not enough to keep me from being unhappy. I just know that I could no longer take the misery!

I left…and not 10 minutes after I was gone, I received two referrals to manage social media for their brands. For a while I had been working full time on BOTH–the corporate job and my career–and I was completely worn out. One had to go…and it was NOT going to be my PR Firm…

In order for me to receive the vision TOTALLY, I had to open that door of “the money is good at this job though”, walk ALL THE WAY out of it, and activate my faith. My spirit is free now. I may not be making the same amount of money that I was bringing home from the corporate job, but my clientele is picking up tremendously, and I have yet to be worried about making ends meet. I refuse to worry about what God has already done!

I challenge you to Open That Door. The door to working out, establishing your place in society, being open to love, mending a friendship, saving more money…whatever the “door” is for you, go ahead and open it. A huge part of your life’s work is to strengthen what already exists inside of you.

Be free to be who you are; my testimony is simply that I chose to Open That Door. Here’s a look at my door: http://www.prbyelle77.com

What You Want vs What You Accept

Currently digesting information from these pages:

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Author Steve Harvey is not necessarily “liked” by many, as it relates to his advice on relationships…I actually like him, and I agree w quite a bit of what he discusses in this book and in “Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man”.

One thing I am noticing in today’s relationship society is that people are looking for that “quick fix”, or the situation that yields mostly, or only, tangibles. Hmmmm…if I’m honest with MYSELF (speaking for Lauran Adell ONLY) I know that I want more than just a handbag or a trip to an exotic island. On page 56 of the book “Straight Talk, No Chaser”, Steve makes a VERY strong statement. He says “…accepting gifts from a guy without getting what you want in return is nothing more than an advanced form of prostitution”. What makes this statement so TRUE is that I know women who willingly accept gifts from men, yet secretly desire a real relationship (if your BOYFRIEND/FIANCE/HUSBAND buys gifts for you, that’s different–I’m not referring to those women). When a woman accepts those gifts, handbags and trips, without getting what she truly wants, she is in fact a “bought woman”; you JUST told a man that you have a “set price”, not that you are “priceless”. This ALSO speaks to the fact that a Father or Father figure is JUST AS important in a girl-child’s life as one is in a boy-child’s life. (DISCLAIMER: this is not to say that a woman is ONLY strong if she has a Father/Father-figure; this is merely stating the IMPORTANCE of said role in a girl-child’s life…keep reading!)

My Father, bless his HUGE heart, is the BEST MAN IN THE WORLD to me; a modern-day Superman!

Here I am w my Daddy at a luncheon at our church, where he Pastors, where the men were honored:

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He has made it so that I don’t ever have to want or need for anything!

Because he was (and still is) very active in my life, I understand that I deserve the very best that a man has to offer. My Father has ALWAYS given me his best, even when I didn’t want to hear what he had to say on certain topics; but that didn’t stop him from being the best Daddy to me…I salute him and how he has been very crucial in how I handle men. BECAUSE OF HIS INFLUENCE, I can smell the proverbial bullsh*t miles away.

Steve Harvey hits on SEVERAL points about how to deal w men and how to get what you would like out of men (i.e. commitments , honesty, etc, not referring to tangible items–please…), but one thing that he will state, and states OFTEN is the fact that if you aren’t getting what you desire out of your relationship/if you feel that it is going nowhere/if he won’t commit, LET HIM GO. I love how he refuses to sugar coat a situation w his female audience…and for some, it’s just what we need to hear/read. What you want HONESTLY is that commitment; so why settle by merely accepting gifts that only pacify you for the moment? It’s easier to manuever through these situations w men when you KNOW YOUR OWN PERSONAL VALUE. It’s only a problem when you have no clue as to who you actually are and what YOU actually want.

I know what I want and I won’t settle for less than I deserve; I have my Father to thank for that! My Mother (may her soul rest in heavenly peace) was married to a KING (my Daddy); she encouraged him, supported his vision(s), and stood by him. Also, my Dad knew he was blessed with a Queen–and he treated her as such! A woman who encourages her significant other and supports him will ultimately make a man “want” to change his ways FOR HER! You can’t “change a man”, but you can be so phenomenal that he commits to making changes on his own…KNOW THE DIFFERENCE!

MOM AND DAD

There is no textbook method in getting to know someone, however you have to truly evaluate and sometimes RE-evaluate your situation on a regular basis.

Are you getting what you want?
Or are you getting what you accept? I’m hoping you know the difference…trust me; the men ALREADY KNOW THE GAME; we have to “navigate the plays”, ladies!

(FYI: if your man is honest w you, he will acknowledge his growth (or lack thereof) with you, and will let you know JUST how valuable you are to his life…I never said that love is easy, but I do know that love should not hurt you, and is ABSOLUTELY worth it!)

To Sir: Wherever you are as you read my blog, I Love You; I appreciate you allowing me to love you the way that I am designed to love a man, I am grateful for your support of everything that I do, I will always encourage you to be the best that you can be, I have your back, and life has been amazing since you’ve entered into it. Thank You for being there for me; no matter what we have gone thru, I wouldn’t change a thing…I know, just like I knew back in 2011, that I am in good hands. *muah* 

ELLE

Great Day!

Today was just plain AWESOME!

I didn’t know how I would make it thru the last two hours of the work day, but it’s over!

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And now time for bed!

ELLE

The Urgency of FOCUS (34)

I would not be honest w myself or ANYONE else if I made my life out to be “crystal stair-ish”…my ish is NOT perfect by any means, and I don’t portray a person w a perfect life, but let me enlighten you…

DISCLAIMER: if you get your panties in a bunch about things relative to my life and how I feel about my blessings, that’s something YOU have to deal with. I’m not knocking the life of another; I’m writing about my own. Thank You (that’s for the softies who get “in their feelings”) LOL

My family dynamic is phenomenal AND RARE nowadays i.e. two parent household, all siblings by the same two parents, all children born after the marriage, parents married UNTIL death…all of those factors are dopetastic…but let me tell you; my family is NOT perfect. I don’t need to go into detail, but know this: EVERY FAMILY has some level of dysfunction; those relationships need improvement. Keep reading…

My lovely company (PRbyELLE77) will need to be tweaked, and often, if I am to remain in business. That’s not a perfect situation either, certainly will always need improvement…

My relationship w God–the most IMPORTANT of relationships that anyone could ever have, in my opinion–gets a BIG ole “needs improvement”…and in red letters though…

I need to workout PERIOD. I’m not fat, my last physical exam w my Doctor was awesome, but I am NOT in the mood for a gym, yet I complain about problem areas when the onus is on me…needs improvement…

Now…I just gave you FOUR areas in my life that need improvement (I only NAMED four…that’s not all; that’s just all I care to share). With that said, HOW ON EARTH do I have time to get off into someone else’s business? My focus must remain strong on those matters of importance to me, which are family ties, my PR firm, my relationship w God, the fact that I need to workout, etc. Someone said to me Monday–if we are what we eat, we are what we think. POWERFUL!!! I am not a bad person because I am not necessarily doing things on a “straight and narrow path”; some people will have to come to grips w that very fact alone, but I ALSO have to realize that my path, and the choices regarding said path, are MINE and mine alone. With my PR Firm, I cannot get discouraged if things aren’t smooth sailing INSTANTLY. I want to quit THE HELL out of my 9-5 EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY DAY…every dawg gone day lol BUT…instead of complaining about being at the job, I wake up and say to myself “I get to quit my job”–this is a fact! I WILL get the opportunity to quit, when God sees fit for me to leave! Changing my outlook on that has changed the way I handle the job! My relationship w God and the fine tuning that MUST come w that starts also w me. He has never ONCE left me; I’ve strayed away from Him. His arms remain open wide for me, so mine are open to receive the embrace that He will give to my spirit, granting me PEACE in the situations around me. Good Lord I need you…

The gym? Eeeeeeeeh…I’m not perfect LMAO!! But no, I will figure out the best plan for me, however in my planning, I can’t become angry that I don’t “look” a certain way in a certain amount of time. I have to come to grips w a slower metabolism, which means I will have to work that much harder. But it’s all for ME. A size six isn’t bad; but a TONED size six is what I’m looking for.

Bottom line: there is NOTHING more urgent than focus! NOTHING. If you’re focused, you won’t be shaken…I’m working on that daily…

Elle

So Much Going On! (33)

I have been BUSY!!

I launched http://www.prbyelle77.com, I’m writing for a very popular blogger, I will soon host a blog talk radio show, and I’ve introduced Bloggers & Bags plus The Trendy Man to my brand!

To ready posts for B&B, visit the blog site for more! Also, check out The Trendy Man, the B&B brother blog!

Keep an eye out for more!

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The Happy Side (26)

It’s so very unfortunate that people will find any excuse NOT to be happy. I find it hard to believe that, for some, there is NOTHING good found in a day…at any point. I happened to be tweeting about how some would rather focus on jerks who cause them drama; my good friend Cynara replied back “it gives them something to do”. I couldn’t agree w her more…

But something to do? Being miserable, negative, and otherwise petty is some people’s “something to do”? Do you know how much time you have to dedicate to being “messy”? You first really have to #have frequent drama, which (to me) means that in most cases, you’re actually doing something to cause it if you ALWAYS have it. Secondly, you truly have to SEEK to focus on the negative aspects of a situation or of a day, which means you “major in minors”, as my Daddy says (love him!!!!). Thirdly, but not lastly (I’m just stopping at three) you haven’t learned the art of ignoring ignorance. Everything doesn’t require a response or reaction. I’m just saying…

Now…we all have rough times w life, people, jobs, etc.; I just don’t personally want to be subjected to you–the one who doesn’t yet have a handle on how to keep it moving–on a daily basis. Some ppl get muted; some get deleted; some just get all the way blocked.

I will be the FIRST to admit that I have my struggles, my tears fall, and my mood will shift. I just don’t want to be known as a “complainer”…so a lot of things are kept “in house”, if you will. Aaaaaaaaand, the vast majority of my personal life is simply none of anyone’s business.

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The face shown here, is highly indicative of my daily mood…even tempered. I’m more or less just glad to see another day!

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I smile!

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I’m shy!

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I’m silly lol

Buuuuuut I’m genuinely “happy”. I have chosen a happier side of life, even in the midst of a ridiculous moment! I keep pushing until my hardest moments are only a fraction of who I am. Eeeeeeeven in the loss of my Mother, I #chose to be thankful that her pain was gone. I simply choose joy.

Elle

Smile ANYWAY! (19)

It’s times like these (in the midst of branching out and starting my own) that I have faced the MOST ignorance, hatred, arrogance, negativity, and pessimism. Welp! I smile ANYWAY.

People make fun or make light of things important to me; I smile ANYWAY.

People suggest that I go THEIR road, instead of paving my own way w faith, of course. I smile ANYWAY.

My passions and pleasures are expected to mirror that of another, or I’m supposed to just “be” a certain way because of who I’m related to. Well damnit…I smile ANYWAY.

I do the best that I can at being me, yet for some? EVEN THAT ain’t good enough. I smile ANY effing way.

There are slick jabs, subtweets, back stabs, and pure tasteless actions directed in my path. Honey…I realize that Lucifer has “relatives”. I smile at them too lol

Ever since God determined me to be “good enough”–and in some cases, better than that–I knew that life would be great, w a Lil side of bullshat. Who am I to think that I would be able to bypass darts and daggers? Hell, why NOT me? When people make the not-well-thought-out attempt to tell me how I should live? I smile ANYWAY.

Don’t you know I’m covered from my head CLEAN down to the pink polish on my toes? Will people be there on assignment to test my strength? Yup. Is the devil doing his job by attempting to bring discord in my most valuable and exclusive relationships? Yup. Will I succumb to the pressure to be like “every other PR agent in the world”? Naw. Should my blogs be gender specific or only in “one box”? Nope. I’m too many different levels of smart, beautiful, talented, mysterious, and clever. God made me this way; and because He just “IS”…I smile ANYWAY.

Elle

Feel What You Feel, But Your Attitude Determines Altitude (14)

Lately, I have been feeling all KINDS of things that aren’t of my normal character. No, I do not want to cause any physical harm to anyone nor do I want to take my life–nothing ridiculous or ratchet like that–I’ve just been “in my feelings” about ANY AND EVERYTHING.

And so what; I’m just being Lauran; speaks nothing to my gender.

It speaks to everything about being a brat. Let my Aunt Terri tell it…I’m STILL spoiled right now today LOL. I’m no baby; I certainly hold my own…but sometimes I think way more than I probably should about what isn’t here yet.

Foooooooor example, I do indeed desire another place of employment, and my search is ongoing. I feel that I am totally wasting precious brain juice here, that I am not challenged, and that this just isn’t “it”. I’m not happy in this job AT all. In the midst of my displeasure, I started my own business…a PR Firm. Yes, in a ROTTEN economic period, I’ve decided to become an entrepreneur. Doing all things related to my new venture has actually brought about peace to my spirit. I happen to be having a conversation w someone about my “job”, and I was told that I needed to stop reflecting on the negative (not wanting to be in said job) and focus on the positive (how I’ve started my business). I was told that not only is negative thinking not going to help, but it will KEEP me in my current position. Lord KNOWS I do not want to remain in that spot, so w more prayer (glad God doesn’t get tired of me) and a positive attitude, I will eventually be free and in a position that better uses my gifts. I’ve claimed a better life and it must start w a better attitude!

If you’re honest w yourself, you’ve had your moments. The KEY, though, is not to STAY in those moments. Every now and then, I am in a frustrated place because I’ve allowed my feelings or thoughts to overshadow what “is”. I start to feel like who I am is “not enough”, and I find myself upset at what I’ve built up in my mind (key phrase here?: “what I built up in my mind”, not what actually “is”). I wasn’t like this in my 20s. Honey PUHLEEEEEEEZE…in my 20s, I didn’t care about much; I felt like I had so much “time” to do WHATEVER. But I’m in my mid-30s now–I’m 34 to be exact–and at this stage in my life, I’m more emotional than I’ve ever been. I don’t pretend that a thing doesn’t bother me when it actually does. I’m TOTALLY in tune w my emotional side, and I don’t apologize for it. And since I was created by perfection, He understands where I am/who I am/what I need. Just knowing all of that–that I am truly taken care of–makes it alright. It makes me feel as though I can make it through a work day. I feel like I have the patience to wait for those things that will eventually make it to my doorstep. Thinking about how good life actually is for me almost instantly improves my attitude. My “inner” forecast? Sunny, a high of 82 degrees w no chance of rain. I can bounce anything of a negative source off of me, because I choose not to let it get to my spirit. It’s not easy, and I have my moments even in knowing Whose I am, but I CAN do it. You have no idea the number of times I have to take a breather, pray, and snap back just to get through a work day at my “job”. AND I GET THROUGH IT. I recognize that I have every right to feel how I feel, but I have to determine exactly where I want to go…my finger points up. Few things that will constantly keep me in tact:

1. When I feel myself out of sorts, I pray harder. I pray every day, sometime multiple TIMES a day; I don’t have a problem leaving from where I am, going to my car/stepping outside to say a quick prayer that will snap me back to a happy place.
2. I will look for a scripture or a quote that speaks to my situation. Self explanatory…
3. I try my best to determine where the source of my frustration is coming from. Then I simply ask God to give me peace.
4. I think about how bad things actually COULD be, and then I look at where I am. So I’m pitchin’ a lil fit/havin’ a “brat attack”; Lauran, get over it…I mean really…HOWEVER, the things that I have experienced in my life are a big deal to me–may not be of concern to anyone else, but my life’s timeline is mine, which makes it important. I don’t downplay what I’ve been through, or “dumb down” my stuff to make someone else feel better; it is what it is. So I am SO VERY PROUD of how far I have come and the “bullets I dodged” along the way…

God has a desire to see me do great things; I don’t ever want to disappoint Him by thinking that I am less than what He has created me to be. I am MORE than enough…I am equipped, I am able, I am resilient and I am unique. I have nothing to worry about because, in the words of the illustrious Michael Franks, it was here all along “on the inside” (Song Title “On The Inside” by Michael Franks). I’ve taken the liberty of attaching the lyrics:

I’ve wasted a lifetime
Pursuing an image that did not exist
Except in my own mind
Except in my own dream.
My life has convinced me
That happines never can really be found
Until you remember
The voice of your own heart.

It’s all on the inside
To say you can find it elsewhere
Would be wrong.
It’s all on the inside
Each soul has its song.
It was here all along
On the inside.

It cannot be captured
On canvas it cannot be
Carved into stone.
No art can sustain it
Believe me I’ve tried.
It always eludes you
No matter what strategem
You may devise.
It’s no destination
A compass can find.

There’s only love on the inside
No counterfeit no need for it.
A perfect place for your heart to hide
No danger near nothing to fear.
Life’s hurricane can’t reach within
–>P.S.-That particular Michael Franks’ song is a #favorite of my late Mother. It is an absolutely BEAUTIFUL song…<–

*smoochface*

Elle

QUESTIONS…Do You Know Where And Who You Are? (6)

I’m the LAST person to try and slide my way into someone’s personal affairs, however there is always a time where a person can self reflect, regroup, reinvent, etc.  I don’t care who you are either…there is no way that remaining the same will produce different results.  :O)

With that said, I’ve come up w a list of questions that I feel need to be answered…but to yourselves.  If you want to answer them publicly, then so do, because guess what…that’s your business and your choice.  But regardless, folks’ lives are overdue for a sprucing.   

Maybe a nice lil walk would be a good way to ponder these questions…

Or…go to a place like this one in your mind…

Time to go though…
1. What “mindless behavior” can you cease in order to achieve your goals?
2. Sooooo…do you even have a list of goals?
3. When’s the last time you spent time w God?
4. How are you using your gifts?
5. Who are you envious/jealous of?
6. How are you giving back to your community?
7. How often do you tell a loved one (your choice of who) that you love them/appreciate them?
8. If you plan to be a Wife/Husband one day, are you taking the time to check yourself of behaviors that you need not bring into a relationship as serious as that? (you do INDEED have to practice those behaviors which you plan to make permanent…and they will become permanent)
9. That one person that doesn’t add ANYTHING to your life…why are they still allowed to be involved in your decision-making?
10. Do you seek to find the positive in a situation?
11. Are you one who always seems to think that you have these “pseudo-haters”? *rolls eyes*
12. Living above your means?
13. What sacrifices are you making to leave that situation (i.e. relationship/job/etc) that you constantly complain about?
14. Did you know that perception REALLY IS REALITY?  (Rather unfortunate truth, but a truth all the same…)
15. How do you handle conflict?
16. Are you “selfish” or “selfless”?
17. You have dreams of becoming a designer/business owner/etc…do you know how to form a complete sentence? (I’m not even being funny…it’s just TONS of so-called “Bosses” out here w no idea of how to use correct grammar, amongst other things)
18. Are you always the one telling everyone what your next move is?
19. Are you ashamed of the love you’re in/person you’re with?
20. Being bold/blunt is definitely a great thing…do you know how to be “tactful” though?
21. What is your prayer life looking like?
22. Who do you trust?
23. Who trusts you?
24. You solicit support for your endeavors…when’s the last time YOU supported an endeavor?
25. Are you always “right”?
27. Hell yeah you can shop til you drop and flaunt your digs…you still stayin’ at the crib or do you have your own?
28. What does your faith rest in?
29. What are you afraid of?
30. Who are you living your life for?
31. Did you realize that there was no question 26? (ha! Had to throw a curve ball)

Your greatest investment is yourself…or are you investing in what goes ON your “self”.  That’s whack…that stuff has no value in the grand scheme of things…you may look good (you “may” *shrugs*), but styles are always changing. Trends are fleeting; truth is forever; if you lie to or cheat yourself, you will have no problems doing the same thing to me or the next person.  So before someone else gets the opportunity to “tell you who YOU are”, why not figure that out for yourself. #ThankMeLater

*smoochface*

Elle