Ten Things That Love Should NOT Feel Like…

Being in love has got to be one of the most amazing feelings ever…next to seeing your newborn son or daughter for the first time after labor (so I hear). That “in love” feeling is also amazing when you are loved back.

Well…now knowing what love is, I also know what love is not. I’m not an authority on the subject, but the heart will never lie to you.

Let’s go:

  1. Love should never make you feel fear.
  2. Love should not feel like a “chore”.
  3. Love should not be extremely hard or feel tough.
  4. Love should never make you feel as though you are alone.
  5. If someone loves you, you should never feel as though they just “don’t care”.
  6. Love should never place you in a state of confusion.
  7. Love never fails; if it’s hurting you, then it isn’t love.
  8. Love should never feel as though it isn’t supportive; love IS an anchor and something that grounds you, holding you steady in the midst of ANYTHING.
  9. Love should never make you question your decision TO love (deep)…AND FINALLY…
  10. LOVE NEVER LIES…

I won’t part my lips to say I Love You and not mean it…that’s the problem though; people say it, knowing full well that it’s empty and FAR from sincere.

Your best bet? Pray before you commit yourself to someone. Let God order your steps in a new or even a more seasoned relationship! You can even get better footing w someone if you have fallen off track, yet you all are on the same page, and willing to work at the relationship. Do the work BEFORE things go sour (if they ever do). Just make sure that you know that “flowers, bells, whistles, and candy” ALL of the time is not real. There will be disagreements, heated discussions, anger, etc., but love has the extreme and undeniable power to conquer any of those things. Just have enough sense to keep an open mind.

Take my poll and let me know if you agree w this post!

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Your Past: And You're Holding On Foooooor…(25)

(And I’m serious when I say this)…I am going to SERIOUSLY send up prayers for KeKe Wyatt.

Disclaimer: I am not blogging to belittle her, bash her or to talk badly about her…but she needs prayer and peace.

KeKe Wyatt, for those unfamiliar, is one of five “Divas” on the new series R&B Divas, that is aired on Monday evenings on the tvOne network. I am personally a fan of KeKe’s voice; she can straight just SANG. HOWEVER…she is harboring ill feelings that she has not yet resolved from a previous marriage. On one episode, KeKe is in the “booth”, getting ready to sing. Her husband is in the room w the music engineers, and a young lady comes in and gives him a note. Not sure what the note was about, but in a “secure” eye, the way in which the note was passed to him was not offensive. KeKe noticed this interaction, and immediately snapped at the young lady AND her husband (1st mistake). She went on to call the gesture inappropriate, she ended up crying, and EVERYONE IN THE STUDIO was brought into the situation (2nd mistake). She chose to express her anger out in public, and her manager (I believe) had to pull her into another room to have a sidebar conversation to calm her down, etc.

ADDRESSING THE FIRST MISTAKE: There truly was no reason for her to have snapped on either party. Period. I could see if the young lady came in the room and tongued her husband down…she only brought in a note, which could have been a phone message, a confirmation on a gift that he was getting for KeKe, or something pertaining to their 5.5 kids (KeKe was pregnant at the time of this incident; she has since birthed her 6th child named Wyatt). We haven’t a clear clue as to what was going on, nor do we know what that note was about, so why snap? If you’d like to know what the note was about, ask him!

ADDRESSING THE SECOND MISTAKE: Relationships are complicated on their own, minus outside influences…why was everyone in the studio invited into the resolution of, or discussion surrounding, what had just happened? At THIS point, time is MONEY…studio sessions are not cheap, so now the session time is spent trying to calm her down and to counsel her briefly. Wrong place, wrong time…

ALTHOUGH KEKE’S SITUATION MAY BE EXTREME, KEKE IS NOT UNLIKE MANY OF YOU READING THIS BLOG…either that, or you are familiar w someone who may struggle w insecurities from their past…

I completely and wholeheartedly believe in love. 100%; not wavering from this; I’m all for being in love. But IN THAT, there’s no room for your baggage. True, we will all carry something w us, but if you are still harboring #painful feelings from a previous heartache, you may need to spend some time alone and regroup; and no…hopping into a NEW relationship/dating situation will not help you to “get over” your pain, so please Sir/please Ma’am spare someone else from your uncertainty; have a few seats! Speaking w your Pastor, a Counselor, or just taking time to rediscover those things that you lost are all helpful when recovering from a past hurt. I remember being hurt very badly in a past relationship, and I waited seven years before I got into another one. I vivdly recall losing 10 lbs due to not eating, I was pretty much existing (not living), and I remember how ANGRY my Father was at the guy who had caused me to be in such pain. After about six months of going thru the emotions I had surrounding that hurtful relationship, I was ready to “have conversations” w men. After a full year and some change had passed, I began dating…but my point in even mentioning that is…I took time to make sure that I was not about to inadvertently place the responsibility of fixing my broken heart on someone else (also, my time frame of healing is not necessarily going to work for the next person…that’s something that you have to figure out on your own). What people ALSO don’t realize is…when you make someone “pay for” what a past beaux did, you start a cycle of pain and potentially reckless behavior. What do hurting people do? They hurt other people. So see NOOOOOOW you’ve hurt the new guy/girl, and they may go on a spree of sexcapades, playing the field, and breaking hearts along the way. ONE ACTION can cause a CHAIN of reactions…is it worth it to mess up someone else’s life SIMPLY because yours isn’t together? Get Your Life, Sir/Ma’am…

I know I know…people don’t like to be alone. So? I don’t like bills LOL. But seriously…until a more mature and nurturing relationship comes along? You may NEED to be alone! There’s no way you can “get away” from yourself, so spend some time getting to know what you will and will not tolerate. You have to rebuild after someone has attempted to tear you down. That stuff can HURT; don’t reopen the wound; let it heal. Be good to yourself FIRST before you expect for someone else to be good to you. Men and women can equally “smell” an insecure individual…and…some take advantage OF someone vulnerable/insecure. Become “whole” again so that no more wool will be pulled over your eyes. Once that rain called pain has gone away, the healing comes in looking for the rainbow.

eLLe