You Wanna Run That By Me Again? (31)

I had a different post that was to go up for the Hump Day Blog, but I HAD to touch on this. And it all stemmed from a photograph on Instagram that I am in TOTAL agreement with.

An absolute truth...

An absolute truth…

For those who may not be familiar w what I actually look like, I am a “dark-skinned” African-American Woman. Yet, in order to be considered “pretty” or “beautiful”, the skin tone that carries the most beauty, stereotypically, is one w a lighter hue. The phrase “you are pretty for a dark skin girl” has been said to me on several occasions, and each time, it was not taken as a compliment…because it’s NOT a compliment. Saying someone is pretty FOR any reason other than just being “pretty” is insulting, rude, offensive, disrespectful and extremely ignorant. It’s the same as saying something like ‘you are very attractive for a business owner’–does that make any sense? Neither does the message in that photo…

When I was a little girl, living in the South, I was often teased FOR my dark skin. I was called all kinds of names, and words do indeed hurt (you can lie to yourself if you want to). I would come home crying to my parents about how I was made fun of, and all because I was usually the child w the darkest skin in my classes. Thankfully, I was blessed w parents and extended family who always encouraged me, loved me, and accepted me w everything that I had. I have always been beautiful to them because I was a part of them. But w them loving and validating me (as parents and family SHOULD do), it’s NOTHING like realizing your worth on your very own. The very first time I heard someone say to me ‘you know, you are pretty for a dark skin girl’, I was angered. I vividly remember saying, in one of those instances, ‘you wanna run that by me again?’–they looked at me as if to say ‘did I say something wrong?’, and I proceeded to explain that I’m not pretty FOR a dark skin girl, but that I am a “pretty girl”. They reluctantly received what I was saying…good…just as long as they “got it”… (sidebar: me being a “pretty girl” has nothing to do w my Sorority lol).

I am a beautiful, dark-skinned woman…not beautiful FOR a dark-skinned woman; there is a difference in the two statements; a very BIG difference. I take great care of my skin (I’m actually pretty anal about it lbs), and it’s blemish free and soft to the touch (thanks to Drop’s skin care secrets). I keep myself together because that’s something that I love to do for me; others just take notice. I have a desire to encourage as many people as I can, and I try to look for ways to constantly improve “me”. Outside of that, I believe that I am beautiful; so that in and of itself MAKES me beautiful.

It’s always a good thing to watch what you say and how you say something. Don’t worry though; if you say this to me, I’ll get you straight!

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(Have you liked this page? Go now!)
Elle

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Sapphire Kharyzma
    Dec 05, 2012 @ 12:14:58

    I love this! I am truly happy you shared this — shedding some light on a topic that has existed for millenniums! (((hugs))) xoxo…you’re amazing — and a pleasure to have as a fellow darky!!!

    Reply

    • Elle
      Dec 05, 2012 @ 12:19:11

      😝😝😝 girl I LOVE our skin! I just have to politely address ignorance when I see it…people sometimes don’t know WHAT they are saying bc they’ve heard it so many times…so they just repeat without thinking. I like to call that word vomit. But if a person REALLY SITS and thinks about the comment, it’s disrespectful! Thanks for reading, beautiful!!!

      Reply

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