Big Decisions (23)

I have had to make some major decisions in the past year (and an even larger decision will be made in the coming months). But the biggest decision that I have made–outside of starting PRbyELLE77–was to give my heart to another person…who appears to be the #right person.

It was not easy. I was EXTREMELY afraid of a repeat of my past encounters in relationships, but I made a decision to “let someone in”. My heart, as well as yours, is a saaaaaaaaaaacred space…SACRED…

The only being capable of keeping my heart safe is God. I know this for a fact; He gives ALL cares about me, and it’s ever apparent in the fact that He’s allowed me to see the light or gloom of a new day for the past 12,410 days (give or take lol). The only other man who has consistently loved me, and has always been w me, is my Daddy. To this day, I can count on his love and support. However, when I met my love three years ago, it was merely infatuation lol. I didn’t think much of it; I was “dating”. My heart was w me completely, and at that time, there were several men vying for my undivided attention. Whatever; they were “half-assin’ it”, so I played them just as short. It worked bc they eventually realized that I had made the decision to take them w a single grain of salt. Ha! Thinking back, I had a great time playing the field…but…

Let’s fast forward to 2011. Communication became more consistent; my heart would explode every time I would see, or even think of, this person; my smile was uncontrollable; butterflies had permanent residence in my belly! This was different…so I made a HUGE decision to open up to the possibility of “real”. And w that decision, I was deathly afraid. God didn’t give us fear…so I had to let that go…

Welp! We’re in 2012, and we’re happy…loving each other in a way that has never been expressed before for ANY others in our individual pasts. I’m also so in love w ME, that if anything ever happens w us, I’ll be thankful FOR this love. And it all started from a decision to try something new…

All I’m saying is…decisions have to be made everyday. It’s the BIG decisions, though, that require patience w yourself, serious attention to detail, and faith that you are doing the right thing–even if it may hurt. My big decisions speak to how much trust I have in my prayers going up, and how much faith I have in God to lead me down an approved path. I’ve even asked God (early on) to remove this man COMPLETELY, if he meant me no good. One year and 12 days later, he’s still around…I guess he can stay lolbvs…

Elle

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Just One Moment (22)

ONE single moment can change your entire outlook on any given day…

July30th may not mean much to anyone–just a random Monday–however that was the day that I fought for my life. The Doctors came out of the operating room, into the waiting area, and told my Daddy “we’re losing her”; I’m NOT supposed to be here, but by God’s grace, I AM here. I will never look at July30th the same EVER again. That “moment” on the morning of July30th changed my life forever.

If a woman’s beau proposes to her on a Tuesday, whatever she experienced earlier that day will no longer matter; that four word question has changed her life, as well as his, and her Tuesdays from now until eternity will all be different.

You get into your car, headed to meet up w friends for a celebration, but you’re thrown off course because of a car accident, due to a driver running a red light. Your survival of/regrouping from that accident will change how you drive…even if you were not the cause of the loss.

We associate our life’s experiences w “moments”. The day you deliver your child will be associated w what you were doing the “moment” prior to labor lol. The day you got “that job” will be associated w what you were doing the “moment” you received the job notification! The smile that you may give a stranger in passing may be the very “moment” that they then made the decision to push through a difficult time, instead of jumping off of a cliff to their death. When “he” or “she” wholeheartedly expresses their love for you, (and you realize what it took for them to open up to you), will be associated w where the two of you were headed, what was on tv, whatever the “moment” may have been.

Moments matter, period. Life is simply a vast array of moments, waiting to be remembered. Creating beautiful moments won’t be just for you though, dearest readers. The smile you randomly give/gave may never reveal what that gesture may have done for someone else’s life, so just do it anyway–that’s creating a beautiful moment. It may be something that you’ve done out of habit; who says that habits can’t be good?

Give THANKS

I have been thru an ordeal.  Although the details are not important, the Thanks to God are.

I have had two weeks in recovery (so far) to reeeeeally reflect on what happened, what could have happened, and what actually did happen to me.  In ALL of that, I give Thanks.

I was afraid, and I was in a tremendous amount of pain.  Even in the PAIN, I was thankful that the Angel in my life got to me in time.

I was so “out of it”…to the point that I even responded to a text message without thinking; as if everything was normal. The fact that I was even able to reach my phone to RESPOND to ANYTHING–crazy moment or not–I give thanks.

I’m thankful for my loved ones, who have always been there for me.  I am grateful for my Maternal Grandmothers–one for making a present for me in her arts & crafts class and bringing it to my hospital room, and for the my Paternal Grandmother–who talks about how happy she is that her first born granddaughter will be alright, simply because she is praying for me. I am THANKFUL for those prayers…

Let me say this too: I’m thankful for those who simply sent up a prayer of protection/recovery/safety/etc. over my life, and didn’t need to know intricate details in order to pray for me.  To those who have hounded my loved ones in an attempt to get more info outside of “she almost died”, shame on you. HOWEVER, I have to thank God for you all as well…because you are the ones who’ve been dismissed. When I ask God, in previous and present prayers, to show me who is supposed to still be around me, He gave me this situation to weed you all out.   I am THANKFUL for this ordeal…

I blink and get excited, because I realize that my eyes could be permanently closed. My life is precious to quite a few people, and I am glad that my loved ones have rallied around me to love on me.  I’m going to let them.

Humbly Blogged,

Elle