How Does This Thing Work?! (13)

Ever wonder how relationships work?

Ever ponder whether or not it’s even worth the risk of heartache?  Or even the potential of having/meeting the one true love of your life?  It’s definitely not an easy task to take on, and you have to be comfortable (or content, if that makes you feel better) w the fact that the RISK is EQUAL TO the potential REWARD…I mean you REALLY have to come to grips w that…

Well…I took a class, back in the Fall of 2010 at my church.  It was the first time that this course was offered for people who may be thinking of (and who had questions regarding) long-term relationships i.e. #MARRIAGE.  Since that is something I am considering in my future, I wanted to know WHY I was even considering such a covenant (even though a healthy marriage was on FULL DISPLAY in my home w my Parents).  The title of the class? “Before We Say I Do”, based off of a book written by Marvin A. McMickle.  This is the book that my Father uses for his couples going thru pre-marital counseling (my Father is a Pastor and a mighty good one).  The book talks about 7 Steps To A Healthy Marriage, and the Chapter Titles are Faith, Friendship, Frankness, Forgiveness, Fidelity, Finance, and Family (even if you do not desire marriage, this book is a GREAT read). The book goes into SERIOUS depth about all of those things, and even shows how all of them are connected.  In the course we watched movie snippets, had class exercises–some were men vs women lol–and we talked openly about our fears and what we were looking forward to in marriage.  There were plenty of single parties in the course…some engaged couples, even some couples ALREADY married, but looking to get a better understanding of how they could be better IN their marriage.  I later came to find out that some of the couples that were in the class parted ways.  And I just wondered if maybe they figured out (for themselves) that it just wasn’t worth the risk…?

One HUGE point that will ALWAYS stick out from that class is the fact that it will always be a challenge bringing two different households together.  Your mate was shaped by their families, or lack thereof, as were you.  However, you should come together and be in agreement on the MAJOR things (refer back to the 7 chapter titles above).  For example, if your significant other prefers to smoke his/her life away and hang out in the streets every chance he/she gets, and you are not interested in those things, problems will arise.  If BOTH of you are “shoppers” vs one being a shopper and one being a saver, or BOTH of you being tight wads w the funds, then oh yes indeedington…problems will arise LMAO.  If you are one w a strong work ethic, realizing the absolute truth of “if you don’t work, you don’t eat”, and your significant other can’t hold a job due to reasons such as “I don’t like people telling me what to do” (yet AINT STARTED ANRA-NARRY BUSINESS TO BRING IN REVENUE, but thinks he/she gives sound advice on HOW to move around in life), problems will arise.  Not saying that the two of you can’t have different views on things, but on the MAJOR things though?  Yeah…you’re gonna have a problem if those don’t mesh.  If you don’t like sports and he/she does, fine.  If you aren’t interested in sushi and he/she is, that’s fine.  If he/she thinks the idea of “money well spent” means how many times you buy up the bar at various clubs though…you get where I’m going w this.

**So how DOES it work?  You have to communicate; LISTEN; be honest about what you want; be straight forward about what you will and will not deal with; learn the definition of the word “compromise”; be supportive; show RESPECT…and while you’re doing all of things, don’t lose yourself during the process and pursuit of a healthy relationship. It’s always been ok to just be YOU…so why change what attracted them to you in the first place?  It’s scary to love someone, and allow yourself to be close to them…risky, yet rewarding; I’m all for it…

**–this paragraph in particular is also relative in platonic/familial relationships, not JUST intimate ones…#CLEVER huh?

*smoochface*

Elle

Advertisements

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Randocklins
    May 30, 2012 @ 13:21:19

    Love it and how so very true!

    Reply

  2. ELLEWordsInc
    May 30, 2012 @ 13:58:33

    This comment has been removed by the author.

    Reply

  3. Olivia Stevens
    May 30, 2012 @ 23:04:17

    This was awesome and right on time (as your advise always is)! You most definitely answered a lot of questions I had, but just didn't know who to ask.

    Reply

  4. ELLEWordsInc
    May 31, 2012 @ 07:28:20

    We are all shallow at some point in our lives (if we are honest), and only want what "looks" good! But even w that you pay a price! You sacrifice your time "looking" at that fool that isn't really about ANYTHING! I learned that valuable lesson, and as a result my relationship is perfect for me! (he just so happens to be handsome) :O)Thanks for supporting me!!

    Reply

  5. ELLEWordsInc
    May 31, 2012 @ 07:28:59

    Thank you DAAAAAAAAAAAAHLING! Great seeing you yesterday! Thanks for your endless support!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: