Doing Me, Not You…(3)

What happens when you have a situation where someone has judged you incorrectly, based on a tweet, FB status, or your personal opinion about a matter? For example, you make a statement about being happy not to be a single mother, you mention the love of your life one too many times in your FB statuses, or your opinion on plastic surgery is that, unless you’ve been disfigured, you don’t need it…(by the way, these are my beliefs, and I’ve been judged on them). 

Being judged is not fun, and people actually “choose” to believe what makes them feel better.  If it makes someone feel better to believe you to be a whore, then that’s what they will believe.  No need for them to “fact check”, or get to know you; it’s a choice to stick to their beliefs.  If someone chooses to believe that God doesn’t exist, well then hey…you can’t get mad at that either.

Question is though…what do YOU believe?

I just think that everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  That’s pretty much it w that…if you are happy to be one who is not a single mother, you can still be happy about that.  I PROMISE YOU…it really is ok.  If you want to mention a significant other and how exceptional they are, please continue to do it.  If you never plan to have plastic surgery, that’s fine as well.  The problem comes in when you make an attempt to FORCE your beliefs on another person/a group of people.  (And keep in mind…your twitter is YOURS and so is your FB, along w your opinion).  It doesn’t make a person wrong for thinking against your beliefs; they’ve just introduced their opinion.  Period.  I will NEVER seek to justify to a soul just how wonderful love is.  Some don’t believe in it; but I do! Noooooooooot about to cushion a tweet about my joy of being childless; hell, I am HAPPY about that right now lol. But I won’t invade your space w my beliefs by getting mad if you don’t agree.  Three Words: I Don’t Care. The very minute you decide that “you” are actually ok w moving around how YOU do, is the VERY same minute that you’ve actually fallen in love w yourself…the single most important person is “you”.  So I can’t do you for being too busy doing “me”!

*smoochface*

Elle

It Is Only Hair! (2) Natural hair is not necessarily better; processed hair is not necessarily horrible…

If you know me, you know that hair is my thing!  Nope…not a stylist; just your average “product and salon junkie” lol.  For the past 12+ yrs, I have trusted my tresses to the one and only Kelly Jay…a friend of mine who is INSANE on the hair tip.  She has been in the hair care industry for 15 or so yrs, so the girl knows what she’s talking about.  The other Beautiful thing about my great and talented friend? She comes from a line of stylists, and they all work in the same salon…Grandmother Eula, Mom Regina, and Kelly! A Family affair!

Ok let’s get into it. In all honesty, I get sick and tired of the “newly natural” ladies telling me how wrong I am for getting a relaxer. So, when I went in for my weekly appointment with Kelly, we discussed the myths about natural and processed hair. “It all depends on the hair”, says Kelly. “Whether natural or processed, ends will split”. So then I asked about maintenance of natural hair–more maintenance required? “Depends on how you wear your natural hair. If you like to get your natural hair straightened, then yes. With processed hair, you’re only relaxing the new growth and trimming the dead ends”. Mom Regina, while providing a shampoo to her client, chimed in with a very interesting point…”all hair is dead; once it grows out of your scalp, it’s dead. Your hair has no nerve endings, so you don’t feel it when it’s cut”.*brows raised* Huh! So true…if we felt hair cuts and trims? I’m SURE we would need anesthesia.

Noooooooow to one of the most discussed topics regarding hair…weave/extensions. Everywhere you TURN, SOMEONE has a good, bad or indifferent weave. I personally am not a fan, but I don’t care WHO gets a weave; you still have some care involved in that as well. “Sew-ins are good”, per Kelly, “but they need to be removed at least every two months–your own hair still has to be maintained. Leaving sew-ins longer than two months can actually damage YOUR hair, causing the hair to become matted, etc”. So you mean to tell me…people actually leave a weave in LONGER than two months? The look she gave me when I asked her THAT question was priceless…but the most amazing thing is, when the damaged hair owner comes in to Kelly, they want an instant repair. She went on to say that “quick weaves” and bonding are also fine, but the proper products are needed to REMOVE the hair…ok low key, weaves frighten me and cause me a great deal of stress lol. Moving riiiiiiight along…!

I couldn’t end my hair convo without talking to the Queen…that being Mrs. Eula (might I add, she is also a comedian)! So I asked how long she had been doing hair; her answer? “100 yrs”–see…pure comedy. She advises that the shampoo is the best treatment for the hair because it helps to maintain, as this is the beginning of the style; What many don’t know about Mrs. Eula is that when she had a shop over on 61st and King Dr for 25 yrs, hers was one of the first shops to do relaxers in Chicago, and people would come from all over Chicago to get them from her. #BlackHerStory

**All three agree that you should visit your stylist at least every 7-10 days, but every 14 days is fine and is actually more common…everyone’s budget isn’t the same.  However a licensed professional “knows hair”…so let them maintain yours.**

To conclude, if you can recall, the common thread? MAINTENANCE. If you don’t maintain your natural OR processed hair…well…you won’t have much hair left to maintain. Take your weaves out on time, keep your ends trimmed, and remember…natural isn’t necessarily “better”, and processed isn’t necessarily “horrible”. What’s “better” is well-maintained hair; what’s “horrible” is having a lack of care and concern for your tresses. Oh…and my shameless plug for my girl…find her on www.styleseat.com under “Kelly Jay” for appointments and photos of her artistry…she’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad…what can I say!Aaaaaaaaand even I may have a few styles on there…ok yeah I do…ha!!

*smoochface*

Elle

First Order of Business! (1)

This is my first post…and this is the post to let you know that I’m here now, aaaaaaaand I’m going to do my best to give your eyes a literary thrill! My only disclaimer is that you keep in mind that these are strictly the writer’s opinions, and that I will not purposely offend anyone. I like what I like, as do you, and I’m sure our paths will cross and sometimes even agree on the direction! 

My aim is to encourage, show support, highlight folks, and honestly have fun enjoying what I do…writing. Well in this case, typing lol.  But you get me.  I majored in English in college, but I absoLUTELY “type how I talk”.  I’m extremely animated, and my blogs will reflect said animation!

But!  Welcome to My Intro To Your World!  See you Sunday, mar18th!

*smoochface*

Elle